she screams in silence

About Me

walking contradiction.

Blogs I follow:

1. bro! lucius recaps last night’s party for voldemort, bro!

   fuckyeahvoldemort:

   omegleshit:

   You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

   You: OMG BRO

   You: last night was crazy!!!!!

   Stranger: >wat?

   You: you don’t remember it, bro?

   You: you were SHITFACED

   You: you were all over bellatrix and then you vomited on wormtail but i don’t think he minded

   You: tbh he looked rather excited

   Stranger: WAT ARE U TALKING ABOUT ?

   You: about last night, bro!

   Stranger: i think u confuse me for the WRONG person

   You: don’t be ashamed, bro!

   You: it was a sweet night

   You: even harry potter and his fag crew came by

   You: ‘course, we were all too drunk to fight after all those bacardis

   You: but you know how people write weird stories about us on the internet, usually containing some sort of odd love triangle between two drastically different people? i think they call it “fanfiction”?

   You: well, it was like that, bro. shit was CRAZY.

   You: snape and the sorting hat, hermione and arigog, rita skeeter and fang!

   You: actually i’m not that surprised by the last one

   Stranger: I HAVE NO IDEA WAT U ARE SAYING!!!!!!!!!!

   You: calm down, bro!

   You: i understand, i don’t really remember all that much, either!

   Stranger: GOD DAMMET I DONO WHAT U ARE TALKIN ABOUT YOU GOT ME CONFUSED FOR A WRONG PERSON

   You: it’s aight, v-man. it’s aight.

   You: you don’t have to worry

   You: bellatrix took the morning after pill

   You: and anyway, you look like such an alien that your kid would’ve inevitably resembled post-op heidi montag, and no one would feel bad for aborting such a creature

   Your conversational partner has disconnected.

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    OH MY GOD. LOVE.

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